I started off the year with good intentions, and with only one resolution…to learn to love myself unconditionally. This year was one of the twist-iest, turn-iest, up-and-down roller coaster years ever. Plans at the beginning of the year (which now seems like it was 5 years ago) didn’t pan out; our close-knit group of friends has drifted apart, and my best friend, the glue, is in the fight of her life for her health (cancer). Serious marital issues, then business issues (which lead to the closing of my little dream coffee shop), then a move that I still sometimes can’t really believe happened…and now, at the end of the year, things are slowing down again, I’m in a new place (at the beach!), new plans are on the horizon, and I once again have hope for the coming year. Through it all, I think I was true to my resolution. I went vegan for the first time this past summer, even though it wasn’t yet permanent. I met my first raw foodies in February and fell in love with green smoothies. Although self-loathing has periodically reared its ugly head, I think I handled the adversity well this year, and now love myself much more than I did before.
I am ending this year at my job (I work 7 pm to 7 am). Tonight most people are celebrating with food, drink, and being around friends, but I will sip my lemonade and hunker down for the work that needs to be done. It is probably fitting that I will start 2010 at work…because there is a lot of work to be done in the coming year. It is good and rewarding work, but work nonetheless. 2010 will be a year of transformation.
That being said, I was glad to be coming to work tonight, thinking that it would be a good place to not think about all the food and partying I’m missing tonight. However, my coworker just informed me that she brought sparkling grape juice and hot crab dip for us to enjoy at midnight. (Us being her and I, since we are the only two on the unit). I have to admit, I immediately thought about ditching this whole Master Cleanse thing for some crab dip. I have kept quiet about the Cleanse, not telling anyone but my husband and those selected online communities where I am blogging about it. I am on day 6…so close! But this hot, gooey crab dip that my coworker brought FOR ME to enjoy is going to be the biggest, nastiest temptation yet.
Speaking of the Master Cleanse…yesterday, day 5, was the easiest day I have had so far. No stomach discomfort, no intense cravings (just brief passing ones), and feeling good and energetic. I even came to work last night with a good attitude about my job that I haven’t had in a while.
I’m glad to see 2009 go, though. 2010 holds so much promise and potential. My husband has started drinking green smoothies! We are working on two websites. We are finding each other again. My finances are finally straightening out after the café debacle. We live at the beach! And I am finally on the right track to whip my health into shape. I’m excited, and happy. Happy New Year!